The passion for improvement

It is fascinating to note how often people try to improve their fellow beings. I wish I had a penny for every time someone has said, “Oh so-and-so is a wonderful person but you know, his grammar sucks.” Of course, you can replace “grammar” with “fitness,” “attitude,” “driving,” and several other things. The principle is darn simple – a person may be very good but well, needs to work on a certain front.

Some might call this a rage for perfection. I think it is basically a waste of time and an attempt to undermine the poor chap’s confidence. Why not cherish what one has instead of trying to change what works? And especially on someone else’s recommendation? Believe me, if someone keeps telling you to change a certain part of yourself to achieve success, that person is more fond of what you could be than what you are, and therefore, deserves to be treated with caution or maybe even with some violence! If you need to change, you will know it and won't need someone else to tell you about it.

I mean, one of my oldest friends is a marvellous doctor, but keeps getting criticised for not being ambitious enough (“You should have had your own hospital by this age, instead of working for others, if you had more drive!”). He is more than content with his earnings, and likes to work with his patients and pursue for further studies – both of which he is doing. He should be content, and people should be proud of him but nah, they keep telling him that he is failure in life. There was a phase when he actually neglected his studies and tried to get investors for a health product company – he was no good at it and promptly went back to what he does best!

And then there is the person I call my best friend (although she turned down the designation, alas! But that’s another story – and maybe another blog entry) who is a perfectly decent professional but keeps getting criticised for her attitude. I mean, yeah, she could perhaps be a bit more patient and polite at times but hey, she is pretty good at her job. Unfortunately, everyone seems to be more obsessed with her “attitude” than what she does. Needless to say, she is pretty upset and ironically, this sometimes does affect her motivation to work – the one thing she is very good at!

And of course, there is the little matter of Yours Truly who has been accused of not being aggressive enough, being too meek, too quiet, too shy...I will compile a list some other day! And while I did get severely rattled at one stage, I think I have more or less worked out that I should stick to doing what one is good at rather than trying out stuff that I am uncomfortable with. I am never going to be a party animal, but heck, I think just about pass muster with a pen in my hand! It might take more time to get information by smiling politely at someone rude but that is easier for me to do than scream back at the blighter!

It’s all very well to try and improve. Heck, one should try to iron out one’s rough spots (the Lord knows we have stacks of them) but should we do so if it distracts us from the things that we do well? I am reminded of one of my favourite cricketers, David Gower, who made batting look like poetry. He was forever accused of being too “casual” and “irresponsible” because he did not practice often and well, liked to be out and about town. He refused to change, in spite of being mistreated by the team management. By the time he retired, he had scored more runs than anyone else for England.

I rest my case!