Friday, November 30, 2007

Calling Hollywood?!

A friend and I spent yesterday evening walking around Connaught Place, trying to spot ourselves on a couple of maps on cellphones. I am sure half the people who saw us must have thought that we were off our noodles – two people staring intently at phones, miraculously avoiding potholes and traffic and muttering things like “It does not work here,” “You won’t believe this, it shows me in the river,” and, most often of all, “Hell! I cannot see myself. Can you see yourself?”


Being the creative (read “seriously nuts”) type, I wondered how it would have seemed if what we were doing had actually been used as a promo or trailer for a film. The results were pretty spectacular. Just read the following one sentence at a time in a deep voice with suitably dramatic music!


"Delhi. Connaught Place. 7:30 pm.


Two people. Two devices.


One application.


Their target: themselves.


On a map. On a phone.


An app will rise. A technology will fall.


And finding your way will never be the same again.


Nidhi Singal. Nimish Dubey.


Nokia N95. Nokia e61i.


GMM studios presents


A Mobile production.


A Cell film.


The Last Days of GPS


Search. And you will find yourself.


Coming soon to a device near you."



I think this has the makings of a blockbuster - it has gadgets, technology and of course, a helluva cast (two Nokia phones!!). Yes, you can contact me if you want to make the film. I have no objections to parting with a more detailed script for a million bucks. Or heck, even for a N95 8GB, although I would actually prefer an iPhone. Call me, Hollywood!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Someone out there...

It's strange when someone can sense the way you feel.
When you are upset. When you are sad.
When you are happy. Heck, when you are just plain irritated.

You don't have to say something or even speak a word.
They just sense it.
They even sense it over the phone.

It can be scary.

You see, someone out there knows exactly how I am feeling.
Someone can read me like a book.
Someone knows the way I think. Or react to a situation.
Someone out there knows that an entry to this blog will be posted even before I post it. (I am ready to bet on this!)

Scary, isn't it?

Well, not really. Because all this also means something else.

Someone out there is my friend.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

To depend or not to depend...

It’s nice to be able to depend on people. You know, you have a shoulder to lean on (and cry on, when the water taps in the eyes get busy), an ear or two that will listen to you, and so on and so forth. There’s just a little problem with that scenario – what happens when the aforementioned shoulder, ear(s) and the person who possesses it decide to move away?


The champions of independence will always bleat about the need to “stand alone and do your own thing.” It is magnificent theory. And like all magnificent theory, utterly impossible to implement. You do end up depending on other people – and not always for friendship. It could be for your salary, a lift to work, or hell, even a cup of tea in the morning. And however trivial the thing you depend upon a person for may seem, it sure hurts when it is not around. I actually feel strange when my cat does not come running to greet me when I come home (she manages to miss me about three times a week, the ungrateful swine!).


There’s no harm in depending on others, but there often comes a stage when you start trying to compromise on other things just so that you can make sure that the person you depend upon does not go away. And that path, of course, leads to professional and personal hell. Don’t tell me about it – I have made enough trips on it to qualify as a tourist guide. All I can tell you about it is – it ain’t pleasant. There is only one thing that is worse – having no one to depend upon!


Depending on other people may be a necessity, but it can be dangerous especially when carried too far. It’s a two-edged sword and hell, it cuts both ways.


Now, excuse me while I go get some bandage – I think I am bleeding.


Monday, November 19, 2007

Yeh India ka cricket hai?


I have been seeing Reliance’s “Yeh Indian ka cricket hai” TV commercial featuring a number of kids, for a few days now. And I must admit that it evokes conflicting emotions in me. As a writer, I love the ad. It’s great copy. Even the presentation is excellent – much better than the asinine “we will play on buses in Mumbai traffic” ad from Nike. It’s great fun.


But as a cricket follower, I am a bit appalled. You see, the ad implies, that “India ka cricket” is basically all about winning. The copy implies that cricket in India involves:


  1. Being delighted on getting a wicket, being abusive when the bowler gets hit

  2. Celebrating if you take a catch, cursing if the catch is dropped

  3. Showering wealth and praise on a team that wins, and derision and contempt on one that loses


You may accuse me of reading too much into an ad, but the fact is that all these sentiments are rather disturbing. They go against every concept of fair play and sportsman spirit. They are just not, well, cricket.


The ad in fact represents the new breed of the Indian cricket fan – one who does not really care about the nuances or spirit of the game but only cares about results. We saw this new fan on display yesterday in the India-Pakistan ODI at Jairpur when immaculate strokes by the opposition were greeted by stony silence, while outside edges from Indians that went for boundaries were wildly applauded. Of course, there was the usual chorus of boos when India lost the match. The same people would have celebrated wildly had India won. It’s interesting to note that a defeat for India always seems to result in anger, rather than sadness. The Indian cricket fan seems to have more in common with a Roman spectator watching the gladiators at the Circus Maximus, rather than a person who has simply come to enjoy a good game of cricket.


And then we accuse our cricketers of playing only for money! Well, of course they would. Who would want to play for a bunch of fans who are only fair-weather friends?


After all, yeh India ka cricket hai!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I ain’t changing!

Why do people yearn to change other people? Every darned day someone I barely know pops up advising me to change this and that to adjust better with the blasted changing world, where “change is the only constant” (yes, yes, excuse me while I yawn!). If I try to point out that...umm...I have not been doing too badly in my current form, I am told sagely that I have been lucky but that it might not last and should "learn to compromise" - after all, we have to live in this world! Yeah, big deal. As if we have a choice.

You see, I am not too sure if changing a person is actually a good thing. Because no matter how much you tweak the exterior, most people will inherently remain the same. They will only tend to mask things that make others uncomfortable. Now, kick me if I sound silly, but I would rather be around someone who curses me to my face rather than does so behind my back. Good old Julius Caesar would not have had as big a shock when Brutus beaned him with a knife if he had known that his beloved Brute thought that he was a danger to Rome and would be eminently improved by Death. (and sure, he is an honourable man, and all that kind of rot!)

I have tried tinkering with my behaviour a bit (generally broadcasting it loud and clear over my blogs) but frankly what it boils down to is – am I comfortable with it? The answer, as I get older, seems increasingly to be in the negative. This does not mean I want a licence to misbehave or act like a jerk. One does have to observe certain rules of decorum, but heck, there is a thing as going too far. Yes, I will dress formally if that be the dress code. Yes, I will attempt not to shout in public because it disturbs people. But I am deuced if I am going to sit and grin at some rectum-faced excreta in human shape and tell him he is a genius or write a bunch a lies just because the some fool has paid one of my editors a sackful of dollars for an ad.

What it boils down to is - I would rather be unpopular with others than with myself! Hey, I am only get to spend some time with other people, but I am stuck with me until I kick the bucket. I can quite sympathise with what Dorothy Parker meant when she wrote:

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am,
Because I do not give a damn.

Or when she said:
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And I do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!


Quite!

Friday, November 9, 2007

The price my friends pay

They saying having a friend is a comfort. I am not sure that’s true in my case. I saw a pretty disgusting side of myself yesterday when I came close to cold-bloodedly ruining someone’s day because I was very annoyed with the person, notwithstanding his/her apologies.

Which made me in turn take a closer look at what exactly my friends have to put up with, as far as I am concerned: (Warning: this is not a pretty list)

1.Wild mood swings: I can be hilarious one moment, totally gloomy the next.
2.Non-stop hassling: I keep seeking attention. Crikey, I embarrass me sometimes
3.Lots of criticism: I am more comfortable with my friends. The result: they end up taking a lot of flak from me, mainly because they listen. I call it being fair, but I think it times degenerates into fault-finding on a major scale
4.Interference: I really think I should give those I like more breathing space and freedom. Why the blazes do I need to know who they are having lunch with?
5.Judgements: I have no idea why I keep passing judgement on what they do. I ain’t God, am I?
6.Self-pity: Am an expert here. Always keep moaning about the sins committed by the cruel, heartless world on Yours Truly
7.Over-sensitivity: I think I am one of those chaps who is always just a stone’s throw away from being offended. What’s worse, I tend to take offence without telling the person who’s annoyed me that I am offended with him/her, really complicating matters
8.Fishing for compliments: I think I do this a lot. Blame it on insecurity (Heck, even this blog entry seems to be begging for denials!)

(feel free to add to that list. I am sure there must be lots I have missed out! )

Yuk! I wonder why they put up with me. I sure as hell wouldn’t. Mind you, the fact that they do might indicate that I am doing a few things right.

Of course, that’s no justification for behaving like a prime donkey yesterday. I do hope I get forgiven.