An apology to a friend

I was rude to a friend yesterday.

I can give a dozen excuses for what I did. I could point out that I felt that she had done something wrong. I could say that I reacted the way I did because I cared more for that person than I did for others. I could say that I do not apply normal paramaters and set higher standards for her. I could say that what I was doing was for her own good and would teach her to be more careful in the future....

Oh yes, I could say so many things. Give so many justifications.

But the stark fact remains that I was rude to someone I cared for. I upset somebody who has always tried to be there when I have felt low and tried to cheer me up. Yes, perhaps - perhaps - she was at fault but did that give me the right to behave in the way I did? I am not too sure. I am not really concerned about the rights and wrongs of the situation. All I know is that at the end of the day, someone I care a whole lot for was upset because of the way in which I behaved. I am not sure there is anything - anything - that can justify that.

It is easy to be rude. Especially to those we really like. Because at some level, we know that they will understand and even forgive us. And that is perhaps the worst part of it - we spare the ones we hate and scream at those we love. Simply because the latter are willing to listen.

It is unfair. Worse, it is cowardly.

It is something that should never be done. A reproof can be delivered in a kindly manner too, maybe even with a smile. It's the least we can do for those we love and care for.

I am sure that my friend would have forgotten (or claim to have forgotten) about my being rude by the time she reads this. She is like that, you know - all heart. And I do not really know what I have done to deserve her friendship. But yes, I do know that I do test her patience terribly - I just hope she never runs out of it. I also know that she will be fed up of hearing this but I do need to say this one more time:

I am so sorry. It won't happen again.