Being angry, being quiet

I was pretty annoyed at someone today. Someone I know rather well. And I think, like all good friends, she sensed it somewhere. However, I did not say a word to her. Just tried to keep a straight face and got on with work (thankfully, a lot of it was there). By the evening, the anger had pretty much passed and we were back to chatting amiably.

There's a school of thought that will tell me that I did the wrong thing. That I should have told the person that I was annoyed with her and pointed out exactly why I felt that way. People who belong to that school will point out that I was being dishonest with my friend by hiding what I was feeling.

I am not sure. You see, I don't think she had annoyed me on purpose. It was just that I felt a bit upset by something that she had decided to do. But it was her decision. And at some level, I respected that. What if I had told her that I did not like what she wanted to do? Perhaps she would not do something similar the next time around. Which would be a pity because there was nothing fundamentally wrong with what she wanted to do - just that I felt that maybe she should have helped me instead. Heck, I could be wrong!

So, all I could have gained by telling her that I was annoyed - apart from causing no little unpleasantness - would have been to change the way she would normally behave. And I would not want to do that. What kind of friend would I be if I stopped her from acting naturally, especially if she was not doing anything particularly wrong? And anyway, it wasn't as if she was trying to hurt me or something - she just felt something else was perhaps more important. Sure, she might do something similar again, but it won't anger me as much because next time time, I will know that something like this might happen.

Sometimes being silent and swallowing your anger can be a lot better than screaming and letting it out. Of course, I am sure many people will think I am wrong. But I would rather have a friend who does not feel restricted by me. I owe her that much at least.