The Personal vs Professional Debate

Should one judge a friend by what he or she does as a professional? It is a question that has puzzled me for years. I really envy the people who go about claiming that they keep professional and personal issues apart. For my part, I have failed spectacularly in doing so.

This has been particularly the case over the past few months. My relationship with some of my closest friends has been strained purely because of what they did on a professional level – things which ranged from rank insensitivity to grossly irresponsible behaviour. My other friends told me that I was being stupid and that I should not really worry about what a person does as long as it does not affect my personal relationship with him/her. But is that really possible?

Two of the foundations of friendship are trust and mutual respect. How on earth does one respect someone who goes about doing something that might harm other people or even society in general. Yes, one can excuse such extreme behaviour if the person involved had no other choice – one has, after all, to survive. But if the person does something wrong cold-bloodedly and what’s worse, thinks that he/she has actually done the right thing...well, that’s different, isn’t it?

Of course, there have been the usual accusations against me – who am I to judge others, especially my friends; why don’t I trust my friends blindly; why should I worry about what my friends do as long as it does not affect me, etc. To all this, there’s a straightforward answer – I love my friends, but I also detest anything that I feel is fundamentally wrong. And truth be told, I would find it very difficult to like somebody who I felt was involved in something that harmed others. Call it an exaggerated sense of honour, call it being holier-than-thou, or what you will; it is just the way I am. For me, personal and professional lives can never be separated because, hey, they involve the same person. How on earth can you like someone who has a very nice nature and is impeccably behaved, but files false reports in publications without any qualms?

Yes, I do love my friends, but I do not subscribe to the ‘love is blind’ doctrine. I prefer to keep my eyes open, thank you very much. And I would rather have a few honest acquaintances around me than a bunch of loyal but professionally dishonest friends.